Frist Published: April 8th, 2026
I once tried writing a memoir about my own health journey of ten surgeries and living with crooked bones. Alongside that story, I tried to also write about my mother’s difficult relationship with diabetes. It never got published. But I did learn a few things.
Most of all, I feel like I made a peace. I discovered some facts about my mom and myself that if I hadn’t tried writing the book, I wouldn’t have learned. That’s worth more than any published book.
So, if you feel like you want to write about your own illness or health challenges, here are 5 recommendations.
1. Look at pictures and objects from the time you’re writing about.
Nothing launches you back to the past like old photo albums. Or scrolling to an old era. Have a photo moment. Look through and spend at five minutes looking at set of photos. Then open up the keyboard or bust out the notepad and write everything you feel around that moment. Try to describe the place and time. The people you were with.
Memoir is more about a part of a life — or a theme. Try to bring hone in on a section of the life or a theme that strings moments together.
This will of course work with objects: childhood objects and toys. Old clothes. Furniture, kitchenware, jewelry, letters or notes. Go to the old stuff and see if a memory or a moment comes back to you. Either write the story and details that comes back. Or build a new story based off the feelings and the bit of details that come back.
2. Culture from the time you’re writing about.
If you’re trying to write about a particular year, listen to the music you listened to from that moment. watch a movie. Try reading a book from that era. Or news clips; old games. For me, music is most instant in transporting me back to a time.
When I wrote about my high school basketball career that amounted to one point the whole season, I listened to a lot of Linkin Park. I was obsessed with this band. I had their poster in my room for years.
I most intensely listened to them before i went to play basketball games. I held my basketball like a Dragon Ball, big headphones, and walkman in the dark of my bedroom (with the poster scotch taped above me). I thought some special energy would rumble out of LP’s earnest lyrics and give me the right motivation (or special powers) to be bigger and faster than I actually was with my surgery-filled feet. Alas, I didn’t play. I sat. Linkin Park the band was the soundtrack to that experience.
When I wrote about it many years later, the music gave me one of the best windows back to to that time.
3. Medical records tell their own story.
If you’re writing about yourself or an immediate family member, you can usually obtain medical records. You can call, email, and ask the hospital or medical organization. I did this for myself and my mother, who was long passed away by the time I requested those items. It was always a huge revelation every time I uploaded or dug through these files.
I imagine you’ll find things you didn’t know in your own records. Doctors and medical professionals who write the reports tend to be as honest and transparent as possible. For me, I also found I had been telling myself a different story than what the records said. The records opened the door to whole other side to my mom — and details that were hidden. It provided a closer look at reality for me.
It may be hard to look at the medical facts. But it might bring closer the truth and provide much needed lumber for building out your story.
4. Talk to experts and learn a subject.
When I decided to write about my mom and diabetes, I knew I needed to learn way more about the disease. I sent dozens of emails and phone calls to doctors, medical professionals, activists groups, patient outreach, non-profits. I read lots of books, articles, scientific papers, academic papers, blogs, podcasts, and a lot more on diabetes. I can’t imagine writing about this without this experience.
One, it gave me a stronger handle of what my mom dealt with on a daily basis. And two, I discovered a much wider world than just the experience I saw with my mother. This also created opportunities to report or write essays outside my own experience. It provided opportunities to build a platform.
It’s more work, but often the best way to look inward — to write about the self — is to look outward.
5. Talk to people from the time you’re writing about.
Much like medical records, people usually have different story than the one you have been telling yourself. I talked to family members, old friends, personal doctors, and co-workers across three states. Each person had a story about my mother and a perspective. This was like gaining memory you didn’t know you have. It’s intoxicating and reshaped the story I told about my mom and myself.
In some ways it was like talking to my mom again, even though she had been gone for over a decade at that point. That alone was worth the work.